2008

Jul

My Muse contemplates an employment strategy.

Was ‘Sideways’ successful enough to warrant a...

Jun

When Overly Clever Product Names Attack.

When the sound of a cartoon character singing...

:::wondering if there is a work-study program:::

Chat Suck

me: it's an immutable law of the universe: Suck attracts suck.
Ruprecht : Well ... that and Mariah Carey induces vomiting .....
AsKatKnits: likes that thought process
me: it's an immutable law of the universe: Suck attracts suck.
Ruprecht : We have a majority, then .....
b_c: is confused. What happened to opposites attract? Or are these opposing suck-forces?
me: suck supercedes all. It attracts and repels. Mostly suck finds other suck and combines to form suck to the second power.
girlarsonist: says so does that mean if one has unethical (sucky) friends, one is also sucky?
JustJen: ESPECIALLY TODAY
me: there is some suck residue from an association with suck, yes. Second-hand suck, as it were.
citizenjaney: thinks that suck by association is the worst -- that suck residue never really goes away
b_c: thinks legislators should get ON this problem STAT, and hopes he can make like a remora on an anti-suck PAC aka shark.
b_c: oh wait, that would be "sucking" wouldn't it. Oops.
Me: throwing the government at a suck-remediation effort only would act as a suck accelerant.
b_c: *envisions formation of a super-massive black hole at certain centers of governmental excellence*
me: *envisions Department of Homeland Suck-urity*
Ribbonssays That's why some of us go to the sucky places. We are the cheerleaders of those in suck.
me: there are advantages to cheering for suck - sucking up, as it were. As long as you don't go for Full Metal Suckage.
Ribbons: says no, but I do wear a bullet proof vest when I go.
b_c: prefers to wear a bullet proof monk. Not the Tony Shaloub model though, cause he's just weird. More weird than me, even. Possibly.
me: says well, you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Lolagrrl: says Good one!
Ruprecht: says Frak, Jéfe! You've really started sumpin' here! I may just have to blog about this whole sucky Plurk entry ... !!!
me: says if it's one thing blog readers respond to, it's a full-on suck-a-roo.

This product simultaneously repels and facinates me.

Does the world need patriotic snack crackers?

It’s Flapjack Friday in the office. With bacon of...

My Muse knows how to rock a fez.

It’s a special moment when you realize that you and a...

Unless the terrorists attack our pepperoni and mushrooms....

Monster gloves make Jeff pensive.

I know how you feel.

Eat that, bitches. Even our ballboys are top flight.

I got two words for you: Heartbreak and Kid.

Must. Get. One. Of. These.

May

I thank you. My mother thanks you. And Duracel thanks you.

“If Oprah farted, it probably would help people. People would...”
— Craig Ferguson

My career, in seven convenient bullet...

Remember, babies get hungry, too.

“‘Got unFollowed by someone who is Following over 1,000...”
— Wilburly on Twitter

So you think you’re a dork.

Keef: The Keith Richards Lifestyle

One man. Very strong.

New word: Memegasm.

I don’t record. Do you see what I’m saying?

I think I just filled up my Pull-Ups.

We all have our secrets

Tat's the fact, Jack.

Hotter than poop.

Johnson & Mills Bean Lard Mulch. Now with Vitamin C!

“Buddy Holly was born a week after John McCain. So not only...”
— Things Younger Than McCain

Bitch took my fish.

I’m trying to think of something more messed up than watching an anteater eat Cheez Whiz from...

Back to you, fuckers.

Ha, ha, ha. Eh.

I’m strangely aroused.

Fer crissakes, panda, use a Kleenex.

“‘It is impossible for a white person to turn down the...”
— Stuff White People Like

Al Roker's nipples. [Not really]

Crotch rocket. [May be applied to previous...

justsayjolie: This might explain why I still reek of cheap...

Utopia. Dead ahead.

Treadmill kittens. Why, oh, why can’t they just shoot off the back of this thing into the...

Supporting my argument against excersize. Completely. Your witness…

If you can’t lick ‘em … well, you know.

That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, Dom likes it.

Best. Mascot. Video. Evah.

Duck vajayjays.

“A liberal Jewish vegetarian with twin sons? You are an...”
— Kate, Out In Left Field

I think I just submissively piddled laughing...

This says everything for me right now.

I didn’t vote for Bush. I wasn’t even born yet.

Dialogue is highly overrated.

Fart, blah. Fart fart fart.

I have body image issues.

He’s right. It’s not funny. It’s hilllllllllarrrrrrrrrious.

Read this. Now.

I had the fish.

Let the bells ring out! Shout halleluiah! Let...

Hello neighbors!

Historians will note that this video was the most universally, globally gay moment ever. Right until...

Brown-Chicken-Brown-Cow

I have a sudden urge to play Connect Four.

Once you've had lisp, you never go back.

If Tetris went to the circus, it might sound a little like this.

No one’s going to hurt my little man as long as I’m aroun-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow. Oh,...

Me. On Gawker. What are the odds?

Patently unfair. And tremendously entertaining.

“Instead of a mint on the pillow, you’ll could find a...”
— Richie Notar, partner in the...

W.I.W.J.K.: What insect would Jesus kill?

Apr

“Put these stylish bacon patterned Bacon Mats under the...”
— Archie McPhee catalog

Tough to beat 22 years of experience.

Do not turn me into Friendster.

Irony be thy name.

Why, thank you.

What the hell is in that cake, Owens-Corning...

You know you want to open it.

Bartender, I’ll have what the girl in the middle is having.

Proving yet again why being an only child is a more preferable option.

Covering the NightMoves Adult Entertainment Awards has...

‘We were just having that same conversation. That’s so weird.’

So close, so familiar.

“That’s so stupid looking, it’s great.” - Frank Gehry

I don’t like to be imitated. Ca-ca!

Dieting is like life. If I don’t bleed or cry, I’ll do it.

Long-haired freaky people need not apply.

Think of it as “Darling Nikki” wth ennui.

I still can't believe I ate here 381 days...

Band name: The Drunk Jugglers

Suck it, Trekbek.

You’re supposed to spit it out, but … NO WAY JOSE!

Wanted: She Has Jolie Long Arms

For the 9 foot, 8 inch-tall flapper in your...

Soul rolls, not egg rolls, y’all.

Everybody got they plate, but they ain't...

The classics. They never go out of style.

“When the 25-pound LawnBott was lifted off the ground, its...”
— Consumer Reports

The Freshmaker. Times 1,360.

Jeffy’s a racist.

“America is having a real problem with the apostrophe.”
— Jeff Deck of the Typo...

You may be a baby, Charlie, but you’re still a mean little sonofabitch.

They’d still find us. They always do.

Sooner than you can say, “Poopty Peupty Pants-ss.”

Dude, we shouldn't have done that acid. My...

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

“You’re only has good as your last haircut.”
— Fran Lebowitz

The world is flat. Pie is not.